Conversations with Dead People Willow
by SapphiX
Summary: An alternate version of Willow's encounter with the First in Conversations with Dead People with a twist, contains mild swearing and a little gore but otherwise pretty mild


**Conversations with Dead People.**

**An alternate version of events of Willow's encounter with The First evil with a twist at the end. **

Willow was sat alone at a desk UC. Library scribbling down some highlighted notes; from her textbooks opened at various pages all over the table. She was determined to get her work back up to her old Willow standards, by all means occasionally she looked up as students entered and exited the library, and all was eerily silent.

Not that she really minded.

Or she wouldn't have had her mind not carried over to the memory of the Gentlemen. She shivered and shook her head willing her mind to return to her studies. She returned to her notebook, analyzed a few lined highlighted in yellow and then quickly jotted them down.

Distantly she heard someone somewhere moving around and taking a book from the shelves.

Once again she found herself concentrating on the noise before finally shaking it off and returning to her note book.

She was once again jotting down her notes when her pencil suddenly snapped, she scoffed irritated and then swooped down to pick up her bag from beside her chair to retrieve either a fresh pencil or a pen, which ever she picked up first won her favour. She froze on her way down with her hand dug into the bag and strained her ears. She suddenly got the feeling she was being watched, looking around quickly and listening carefully for any sounds that sparked her interest.

Silence.

She waited a minute more before shaking her head and scooping up her bag and placing it on the table and reaching inside to find what she was looking for, she grabbed a whole handful of objects and dropped them onto the table without a glance before reaching in to pull out some more stuff and finally finding a pen she really liked, with a triumphant smile she silently cheered and placed her pen on her notebook before scooping up the objects and returning them to her bag. As she reached down to pick up her purse something caught her attention.

She felt her heat beat pick up speed, she was looking into the frozen bright blue eyes of her lover and soul mate Tara. She felt a stab of pain and comfort seeing her again, what she'd give just to hear her voice again, to feel her and hold her. It still felt surreal that Tara was gone.

Gunned down by a stray bullet.

Fired by the murderous...

She couldn't even think his name, because it drove her into dark places she didn't want to go to ever again, he was in a place where he could no longer hurt another girl ever again. But that was not a comfort, for she, Willow herself had sent him there, ripped him apart and incinerated what was left.

The memory of the whole event stuck in her mind like a virus.

As did the sound of the gunshot, the sound of Tara's voice, and then the sound of her collapsing form.

_**BANG! Smash**_

"_**Willow you're shirt?" **_

_**Thud...**_

Followed by the sounds of her own anguished cries and screams as she pleaded for Osiris to bring her back.

She placed Tara's picture in the corner of her folder feeling comforted by her presence. She wished she knew where she was. For real.

Was she with her?

Was she in Heaven?

Was she safe?

Suddenly she felt another chill sliver down her spine making her eyes widen and her body tense up the difference being that this time she quickly turned heart beating and whispered "reveal".

Nothing.

Okay now she knew she was just being silly, she placed Tara's picture in the corner of her folder and made to return to her notes but jumped at the sudden sound of a girl's voice "So..." Willow began to look around before her head whirled to find a friendly looking girl stood behind a bookcase right next to her she seemed to be particularly interested in analyzing the bookshelf she was stood behind her eyes alight with interest as she slowly ran her fingers, not quite touching over the shelf "this is the UC. Library, huh?" Though she wasn't quite looking at her and had taken to walking around the shelf Willow knew the girl was talking to her.

Willow knew her, even though she hadn't actually met her in person, which only added to the sudden shock she felt at seeing her here now. "It's so big" she stopped to peak through the shelf before her face turned on Willow in a friendly smile "hey!"

"I know you. I mean..."

The girls face dropped to show a look of concern but understanding as Willow went on "I saw your picture".

"Yeah I know" Cassie said walking around the bookcase as she spoke as though this were the most normal of circumstances ever "It's kinda weird because we never really met" Cassie stopped right in front of Willow table and glanced down at her books before finding the dumbstruck girls face as she went on her shock clearly getting the better of her and making her sound slightly rude without meaning too "Or kinda weird 'cause you're really dead". Willow mentally kicked herself for saying that and felt a stab of guilt upon the words escaping her.

"Yeah, well..." Cassie replied with a slight giggle.

"Did I fall asleep?" Willow couldn't help but ask. Of all the things she'd witnessed being friends with Buffy and now she couldn't believe that she couldn't believe that the ghost of Cassie Newton was stood before her.

"No, no, I'm actually really here" she said with a wide smile and looking over Willow's folder and placing her index finger over Tara's picture before replying in a smooth and oddly comforting voice "she's really pretty" Willow relaxed a little more but was still alert and watched with nervous eyes before replying "she is" she shook this off and asked again just to be sure "so you're really, actually here?"

"Well obviously not _**here**_, here, it's kinda complicated" she turned to look back at the book case as though someone had just called her name. Willow took a quick glance at Tara's friendly face to make sure she was still watching her, before Cassie turned her gaze back to her and began to slowly pace the shelf occasionally glancing at the selection available as she went on speaking "kind of ironic, too, you know? I write all of that intense poetry about the end and PUFF, here I am again" she then returned to the table and replied with a coaxing smile "chatting you up".

"Yeah" Willow replied still not quite sure what to say "ironic".

Cassie looked sympathetic and replied quickly trailing her hand over the table's smooth polished surface as she paced it; again not quite touching...was she a Germaphobe or something? "I knew this would completely freak you out, it's just..." she then came to a halt and sat down in the chair directly opposite Willow and looking her in the eye she seemed to choke for a moment with nerves before going on with empathy "she asked that I come talk to you, she said that it's important" .

"She?" Willow quizzed.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to hurt you or anything-

"Who asked you? What are you talking about? Did Buffy send you" Willow demanded.

Cassie seemed as though she wanted to cry and her eyes once again found Tara's picture and lingered there before she went on in a comforting voice "she says she still sings" something was tugging at the corner of Cassie's mouth. Something hit Willow like a ton of bricks, as though someone had hexed a lightning storm to strike her heart "what?" Her eyes were sparkling with building tears.

"Remember that time on the bridge, when you sang to each other?" Cassie began to smile slightly as though this were the most moving moment she'd ever witnessed in life or death "Well, she says even though you can't hear it, she still sings to you, before you sleep at night and when you wake at dawn".

Willow felt her heart beat quicken.

Was she talking about?

No? It couldn't be...Could it?

A slight gust of wind suddenly rustled Willow's notes and book and she could swear that somewhere in the distance she could hear an echoing song, music she recognised, music that warmed her heart, and then she swore she heard Tara's voice that seemed to be emitting from the very walls and shelves and yet the closer the sweet voice of comfort was the more distant it seemed.

It was a comfort.

And a Hindrance.

Why could she hear her, but not see her face too.

See her bright blue eyes pierce her soul and make her feel loved again.

"_**...nothing I can do ...you just took my soul with you..."**_

"Tara?" Willow managed to utter, amazed and uncaring at how child like she sounded saying it.

She looked around in the airspace that Cassie had looked to earlier, now she knew.

Someone had spoken to her.

Someone had spoken to Cassie. Not just any someone, Tara. Beautiful, Wonderful, Selfless, Loving Tara. She was here, and she still sung to her, she could even hear here right now, she could hear her.

"_**...The moon to the tide..."**_

"Tara? Is that you?"

"_**...I can feel you inside..."**_

The singing suddenly ceased leaving a horrible silence unlike the previous one, broken by the sound of Cassie's voice who was straining her head as though someone were whispering in her ear "she's sorry she couldn't come herself"

"Well, Why? Why didn't she? I don't understand" Willow said quickly with a light sense of emotional pleading, Tara was in this room probably standing feet away from her and she couldn't even see her "I mean if you can manifest yourself ..."

"She just can't" Cassie cut in gently

"Why not? I don't understand" Willow went on more forcefully. Cassie's eyes read a look of pity when she went on, her grey eyes gazing into Willow's clearly hurt emerald ones "because of what you did" Cassie replied sounding a little startled that Willow didn't realise what she was referring too.

"What?"

"You killed people" she stated in a matter of fact tone "you can't see her, It's just how it is, I'm sorry" and from the look in her eyes Willow could tell she meant it, she couldn't blame Cassie, she was just the messenger, and in her head Willow felt she deserved this.

Why should she see Tara after what she did?

As Cassie had told her,

She had killed, and nearly destroyed the World, hurt the people she loved.

"But...but she's talking to you?" Willow asked brightly, not letting the negative thoughts distract her from this moment, Cassie nodded with a gentle smile "And...And Tara, she, she can hear me?"

Once again Cassie nodded, her smile broadening as she saw the joyous tears leak from Willow's eyes, the grieving girl before her looking around the air for her lost love and calling out, clearly not caring about some of the odd looks she was getting from fellow students who seemed so freaked out they actually got up and left. But again Willow was oblivious to this "Tara?"

Willow once again heard her voice in the distance whisper her name.

"_**Willow..."**_

"Tara, I miss you, I miss you so much" Willow sobbed, her smile fading slightly but the hope still swam in her eyes, Cassie looked on her hands not quite on the table and linked together, with a woeful look shaping her features. Her eyes travelled to the air beside her again and then she returned to watch Willow when she looked back at her and asked quickly "can she hear me?"

Cassie nodded. Willow could tell something was wrong by the look on her face though and quickly asked "What's happening? Did she say anything?"

Cassie didn't speak but watched her, her lower lip pouted as though suppressing her own urge to cry "What? Did she go away?" Willow choked; Cassie glanced to her side again and shrugged simply saying "she's crying".

And as if in response to her words Willow heard Tara's cries and felt her heart begin to break all over again. "N. No Tara, don't cry, Don't cry sweetie. Please talk to me" Willow sobbed in response but trying bravely to quell her own sense of grief at Tara's sorrow, how she wished she could comfort her. She didn't want Tara to be sad; she wanted her to be happy.

She could hear her cries; hear every sniff and choke and sob.

Each one a new stab of realisation.

The Realisation that Tara Maclay was really gone.

"She misses you, too" Cassie went on speaking as if she were Tara "she wishes she could touch you"

"Me too. Oh. Me Too" Willow snorted a cry of laughter, her body shaking with how much energy this was taking from her. But still she willed herself to speak, she didn't know how much time she had left to speak and she wanted to be sure she got everything that needed to be said out in the open "Oh. God. Tara. It hurts so much, everyday it's like this giant hole..." as if in response to her words her heart ached, Cassie watched on keeping a straight face but showing how much she empathised with Willow "...And it's not getting better"

"It will, it can" Cassie said gently.

"How? You're gone" Willow said this time aiming her gaze on Cassie, since the young girl was talking for Tara it seemed only right to look her in the eyes, she was smiling brightly as she spoke again "But you're not, you're strong, like an Amazon, remember?"

Willow smiled and let out a nervous laugh and nodded while saying "I do, I remember". Tara's distant cries had vanished now, and Willow could hear in place of it her laughter.

Was it even real?

Was she truly hearing her?

There was a moment's pause that seemed to last forever; Cassie just waited patiently a look of pure understanding on her face. What a kind hearted girl she was, Willow thought, she could be away enjoying her afterlife and instead here she was playing ghostly ambassador for her and Tara. Willow managed to get a grip and stopped her crying, her eyes stung her face was blotchy but finally she felt strong enough to go on "I-I don't know where to start" she began her nerves taking hold and her voice shaking "after that monster—(she stopped and quickly rephrased to say his name)-Warren shot you, you know all about that, what happened? It was horrible Tara, I was horrible. I lost myself, the regular me".

"Well, you were in pain, you were grieving" Cassie reasoned.

Willow shook her head and replied grateful for the comfort but, knew she'd done wrong "A lot of people grieve, they don't generally make with the flaying and incineration, I hurt so many people".

"It was the power" Cassie replied.

"But I _**am **_the power, it's in me, and did I mention the random destruction of property? Anya wasn't pleased the Magic Box, not so much a box anymore as much as a burnt out wreck-

-The Power is bigger than you are" Cassie cut her off, she seemed to have changed, she looked the same but her eyes read that she was distant.

"I know, but..."

-Things are clearer where Tara is. Where we are and we can see your path, Willow you have to stop" she said sounding concerned, Willow felt slightly wounded but listened to Cassie's words of warning, or were they Tara's?

"You can't use magic again, not ever" she said shaking her head, the concern in her voice showing.

"Black magic, of course" Willow said defensively and went on to add what Giles had taught her while in her rehabilitation in England "But Giles says it isn't as simple as quitting cold turkey-

"It's too dangerous, you can't take the chance that you'll lose control again" Cassie pressed, her voice was more forceful and becoming a bit more grave. Willow shook her head, not quite believing she was having this conversation, she could feel her adrenaline start to pump, she knew all of this, but at the same time it's not like she could just quit the magic's altogether "I don't want to" replied "I-I can't, I never want to cause that kind of pain again, not to anyone" she said, Cassie looked on in pity and said in a low concerned tone "Of course you don't".

"So I won't" Willow declared with a confident smile "I'm gonna be OK".

Cassie's face turned to the air again with the look as though listening, her eyes went wide and she gave Willow a blank stare before saying in a distant voice "She says-

"What?"

"You're not gonna be OK, You're going to kill everybody" her voice was full of hurt, and Willow felt a huge fire rise in her, a fire of fear and horror. What?

NO...No she couldn't.

She wouldn't?

She'd worked so hard...And.

No, she couldn't believe it, yet she found it hard to disbelieve.

"I'm gonna what?" Willow quizzed, her fear causing her voice to tremble,

"That's why I came, why she asked me to come, we needed to warn you" Cassie said gravely, yet expression was blank as though she were looking into the future right this second. "You saw my path?" Willow squeaked her eyes widening with images of becoming evil and raining down destruction on the people she loved.

"Well what do you know? What did you see?" she pleaded quickly.

Cassie shook her head again and that face that almost looked like she was ready to cry herself "you don't want to know what we saw Willow"

"Oh, God!" Willow cried out suddenly collapsing from her chair onto the floor. Cassie stood up and glided around the table towards her, she looked like a frightened child on the floor begging between sobs of horror for it not to be true as Cassie went on with her message "but if you stop-completely, no more magic..."

"...Right. Right, stop" Willow sobbed helplessly on the floor.

"I'll stop, I'll stop" but then something occurred to Willow and she had to ask so she waited to catch her breath and went on her voice quaking like a bomb had gone off nearby "b-but what about Giles, he made it seem as if it was just as dangerous for em to quit completely, Like I'll go off the dee end again—

"You can't" Cassie boomed her eyes something other and far beyond grave no, her voice genuinely sounded like something Willow couldn't identify "if you do so much as another spell-

"I tried to stop, I tried" Willow said sitting up and beginning to rock backwards and forwards her hands pressed against her temples as violent sobs continued to escape her "I tried" she whispered again "what if I can't do it? What if I—

"Don't think that way" Cassie stated. Her voice seemed to change, but Willow didn't register it she was too consumed by the realisation that her magical skill could lead her to kill her friends, her family "How can I not?" she cried angrily her desperation growing "you're telling me I'm going to murder all of my friends, how do you expect me to react, I mean HOW CAN I POSSIBLY REACT! What can I do?"

She then dropped her head in her lap and resumed her crying as the frightening images continued to eat away at her, slowly stripping away at her mind "I'm not strong, I'm not an Amazon, I'm just me".

There was a moment's pause and then Willow heard Cassie speak again "there is one thing".

Willow looked up, feeling a sense of relief wash over her "one thing you could do to stop it". Willow nodded and slowly began to climb back up to sit on the chair "what? Anything I'll do it".

She looked up at Cassie as she went on a huge friendly smile on her face, her voice was hopeful "Then you could see her, you wouldn't have to talk through me". Willow felt a chill run down her spine as Cassie glided back to her place opposite her and sat at the table.

In fact she was sure that the whole room had just become a whole lot colder.

What she'd just said?

Tara would never say anything like that.

"Tara?" Willow said sceptically, she now sensed that something foul was going on but continued to listen to Cassie in case she was jumping to conclusions "that's what you want isn't it?" Cassie pressed.

"Of course" Willow stated, almost angry at Cassie for saying this.

"So go then" Cassie said brightly, her face beaming "be with her, go to Tara, everybody will be safe, and you'll be together and again, you'll be happy Willow, it's not that bad, it's just like going asleep" Cassie was coaxing, and now Willow knew for sure that though it looked like her this was not the ghost of Cassie Newton, and more importantly she was not talking for Tara, and Willow was willing to wager that Tara wasn't even there.

Slowly she rose from her seat, her eyes locked on the Cassie imposter, who was still beaming.

"Who are you?" Willow demanded in dark tone.

Cassie's eyes followed her, and suddenly there was a glint of malice behind her eyes as she leaned back in her seat an arm folded across her chest the other playing with one of her purple streaks, a cocky expression contorted her friendly features making her appear much more...evil.

"The suicide thing was too far, huh?" she said rhetorically. Her expression changed to one of mock wonder, wonder which she was clearly happy to voice "Hm, you seemed so ripe-

"TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!" Willow yelled angrily.

She had no idea, who or what this was but she hated it, she hated what it had said, hated what it had attempted to make her do, and hated that it had impersonated two innocent young woman in its twisted games.

"I stand by my opinion" she went on ignoring Willow and shifting in her seat to look up into her eyes "The world'd be a better place if you took a razorblade to your wrists, not to mention happier without all the constant pissing and moaning"

"STOP" Willow demanded, nostrils flaring with her temper, the hatred burning in her, she wanted so badly to destroy this thing before her but took a momentary glance at Tara's picture and fought down the urge.

"I can see it now" it taunted with a malicious grin on its face "candlelight, the indigo girls playing" she too took a snide look at Tara's picture and nodded to it causing Willow's eyes to dart to it "Picture of your dead girlfriend on your blood drenched lap-

"Stop it" Willow demanded "you leave Tara out of this", the Cassie imposter slowly rose and said in a mock voice to imitate Willow touching the place her heart should be, a huge hole literally appearing this made Willow step back a few paces "_**oh baby, you left such a hole! It hurts so bad! **_Hahaa".

Then her eyes became more evil looking and locked on Willow like a preying shark on the hunt before leaning in only inches from Willow's shocked face, her hands were just barely touching the table as the imposter closed the space between them her voice suddenly distorted into something other worldly and horrific. With every word the imposter spoke next the Library began to shiver as though alive, Willow kept her face level with the imposter but her eyes occasionally wandered around as the lights in the library beginning to flicker and exploded in showers of sparks, the air alive with the screams of frightened students fleeing the scene as the building quaked angrily, dust raining from the ceiling, books falling from shelves, windows exploded showering huge Library with dangerous fragments, Willow hung to her every bone chilling word _**"You don't know hurt, this last year will seem like cake after what I put you and you're friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death, the fact is, The whole good-versus-evil, balancing-the-scales thing? I'm over it".**_

There was a loud explosion as a huge burst of wind suddenly ripped the ceiling from the library, Willow and the imposter looked up as chunks of the rood swirled in the air above the library, screams of terror from outside bombarded her ears, but not loud enough to cut through the roaring of the winds. Willow held her ears and looked around in horror, and then suddenly she had to throw herself to the floor to avoid one of the heavy oak doors flying her way Willow screamed as it collided with the book case and literally ripped it from the floor sending it lasting through the other stacks.

And then suddenly all was quiet.

And Willow saw through the gaps between her fingers that there was a bright light.

Was it morning already?

Had she been here all night?

She sat up slowly looking around, Cassie was gone.

No.

Not Cassie, the Imposter.

Cassie Newton was never here. But then a quick glance to her left Willow saw the girl sitting up not too far from where she was her eyes were now alight with red light, and despite the presence of this sun like light she was radiating a blackness all around her.

Willow looked up to see all of the activity and carnage had ceased. All was still, as if time had frozen. The bright warm comforting light bathed Willow in its angelic glow and the Cassie incarnation eyed it with murderous hatred etched on its face. Then there was a shifting beam coming from where the door used to be, a white beam filled with shimmering white lights appeared and from within it Willow could just make out someone walking towards them, a woman stepping slowly forward dressed in a snow white gown that flowed in a nonexistent wind, her blonde hair longer than Willow remembered billowing behind her, strands of it occasionally changed colour t a glowing blue that matched her sparkling sapphire eyes, her face seemed to glow also.

Tara did not avert her strong gaze from the Cassie Imposter.

The evil being rose up from the ground to meet Tara's line of sight and spoke _**"oh look"**_ she said in a vicious vindictive voice a smirk spreading her face making her appear even less human, what added to the picture was the fact that she now seemed to have an almost vampire like face _**"she came from the grave to see her murdering lover"**_

"Leave her now" Tara boomed

"Tara?" Willow mumbled not sure where to turn, she was here after all.

And she could see her. Cassie snarled at Tara before rounding on Willow and pointing directly at her before saying in a monstrously triumphant voice _**"I'm done with the mortal coil witch, But believe me...I'm going for a big finish"**_ it put so much emphasis on the word big its eyes narrowing to the floor before Willow recited in horror. She now realised what it meant, what everything meant "from beneath you it devours?" she knew this thing was connected to it in some way but then, the creature leaned back with a smirk hands on its hips _**"Oh, no, no sweetie, not it...ME!" **_

"What?" Willow uttered out, but the thing did not answer instead it glanced at Tara then back at Willow and waved _**"I'll be seeing you very soon" **_and then with aloud distorted laugh its mouth opened wide and Willow had to look away as its insides bubbled and erupted from with its mouth slowly turning Cassie inside out before exploding into a white light which let out a loud murderous roar and quickly formed into the shape of a huge spectral winged monster. The evil aura around it momentarily affected Willow making her scream with fright as she felt her magic temporarily take hold and then.

It vanished.

Willow was babbling on the floor and crying "please no, please no, not now".

"Willow"

"No I-I can't I-I won't kill them"

"Willow, you're okay" the gentle voice replied. Angelic, Willow stopped crying and looked up into Tara's face.

"Tara?"

"Yes" Tara replied with a bright smile.

"Tara?" Willow repeated again trying to hold in her sobs of joy for fear of this being a dream.

"Yes Willow" She repeated with a nod.

"You're here, I can see you?" She said reaching out so far, but then retracting her hand. "And-And that thing it wasn't, it wasn't really-

"Cassie is fine, she's where she belongs and, I'm always here Willow" Tara said in a gentle voice "Willow, I never left" she said softly, and gently brushing a hand against Willow's cheek.

"I can't feel you though" Willow replied tears cascading from her eyes like waterfalls when she reached up to touch Tara to find her hand felt nothing, as if she weren't there at all. "This means I'm dreaming" she sobbed

"Does that matter?" Tara asked.

And Willow shook her head in response "no, no Tara because it's the best dream ever, I can see you, I can hear you and-But it's not enough, I want to hold you, I need to hear your heart beat". Tara slowly rose placing an air like hand over Willow's and guiding her to her feet "Willow you need to listen to me, I don't have much time-

"How much time?" Willow choked.

"Willow it's with Dawn, you need to get home now"

"Dawn? But where's-What about Buffy, where is Buffy?"

"Buffy is on patrol, she lost her phone Willow Dawn needs you" Tara's voice was suddenly becoming more distant like an echo.

"Will I ever see you again?" Willow asked.

Tara smiled and replied "though you can't see me Willow I'm always there, you have my heart and my soul" Willow nodded, for the first time since Tara had passed she felt strong again, she'd heard her voice and that's all she ever wanted. Comfort, just to know that Tara was still there she quick turned to the table and swept up her bag and with a final glance to Tara she ran as fast as she could to the door where the light was spilling from. Tara smiled after her and replied "have faith love" and then as the light faded so too did Tara.


End file.
